Friday, March 09, 2007
darn! i should start getting my priorities right! i mean, what the hell am i doing awake at 3.38am?!? well, i know it's like the normal time for me but i'm supposed to be like studying... yeah "supposed"... i was supposed to start my microbiology assignment yesterday, finish it and i was supposed to start studying for my microb exam yest... i was supposed to study for it today and guess what? surprise, surprise, i haven't even started yet...
i came back at 6sth today... had time to laze around... finish watching happy feet (which reminds me that i really miss dancing!!! i miss the swirling, the synchronised movements, the performances, the anxieties, the thrill, and just the thought of not being able to dance makes me really depressed...lolz plus, i also miss the tangling of hands and feet and the confusion every single time i learn a new dance!!!) and prison break s2e19... and i even had the privilage to don a hydrating mask before heading to good old dreamland and dream about....... lolz housemate woke me up at 11plus...cooked dinner and then onlined all the way till now... so, so much for studying...
there's so much to do, so little time... so much passion to fulfill... so much left to figure out... so much left to understand...to love...to be happy...and contented...forgive and forget... there's a world out there to be explored... and all this to be done within A lifetime... seems impossible but i guess when you set your heart and mind to it, impossible is actually reachable... life is indeed unpredictable and as i would love to think it as, full of lovely surprises... i love surprises... :)
now, i shan't spoil this nice blogging about a "surprised" open book "quiz/exam(?)" i had during my tutorial class... i can't even finish 7 "short essay" questions within an hour so go figure about my mid-terms... this time however, since i've the "opportunity" of studying for my exams, at least (i had to stop here for a moment, there's like dog/cat fight outside my window! scary! i can't see them though, too damn dark but they are LOUD!!! eeek!) i know where to look for the answers, and even that, i can't finish scribbling!!! oh, btw it's by that lecturer i was nonchalantly talking about earlier on... okay, i'm starting already so i'd better stop...lolz
today's actually interesting...i had fun playing two piano duets with my music teacher! hahaha of course, mine wasn't perfect but hey, it's better than nothing... lolz and, i just couldn't help but cavil... i actually asked my piano teacher for a more difficult piece cause i was bored with mine and man, do i regret it! hahaha well, i'll regret it until i manage to conquer the piece, that is... dunno how long i'll take though... it looks scary but i guess if it has a nice tune, it's worth it... hahaha i definitely pity her cause she needs to stand my endless horrible tunes and mistakes till i get it right... though personally, i think she seems to be entertained by me... dunno if that's a good or bad thing *shrugs*
now, is love a good or bad thing? is being tortured to the soul and having your heart ripped to pieces part of the deal until your find the right one? and how would you know who the right one is? and if you are lucky enough to find the right one, how are they compatible? and what if the one is at the other end of the world... don't tell me that by chance that they are going to be accidentally bump together by fate... this is not serendipity... and what if the right one's there and you just don't know it... until it's too late? then what would be next step be? what is it about love that takes the breathe out of the ones who has the opportunity to experience it? we always dream about what we were exposed to especially those magical fate and faith stories...which i'm certain that they do happen in the real world, but DO they in OUR world? and then comes the other love... there's always this big question about what love is all about and how we often hurt the people we love the most... and it's ONLY in the movies that the true motives of our actions are revealed... or when we want them to "accidentally" fall upon the true motives of the actions that were done...the sacrifices that were made...
expectations are another thing to live up to... it is true that if we please everyone, we end up pleasing no one... but then, there's the question about who we are pleasing and what the consequences are... expectations to fulfill are those of ours, truly ours or of those around us? if we really ponder about it every single one of our expectations will end up revealing itself that their true progression will ultimately lead to the fulfillment of others... so, then what about us?
3:38:00 am
